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IT'S (NOTHING) PERSONAL
By DeMarie
After a few years as a professional caregiver, I began to notice that the "cream of the crop" among us have a definite train of thought regarding client care. Client's families will often say, "She's so good with mother/father; I don't know what we would do without her. She must really take her job personally."
Although this is a true statement, it's not entirely accurate. Let me explain.
I attended RN school and began student nursing duties my first year. Our teaching hospital was run by a charity for patients who had little to no money, but plenty of pride. Consequently, they didn't seek help for treatable, minor ailments. They came only when the home remedies and over the counter medicines no longer worked. In other words, our patients were in serious stages of disease or dying.
I encountered patients who didn't like me, didn't trust me, wouldn't let me touch them and even spit pills in my face. It was confusing to me why they couldn't see how much I wanted to help them. I would often hear some of the hospital staff talk about them as if they were only numbers to be racked up so they could fulfill their internship requirements or collect a paycheck.
However, my friends and I were Florence Nightingale-wannabes. We took it personally until a wiser, older nurse explained something to us.
Her name was Dorothy, and she had been a wealthy socialite, who felt called to nurse the indigent. "If you had been independent, not leaning on anyone for anything, would you be eager to accept help?" she asked. "And if you did seek help, would you go to a place where people in charge were different in almost every way from you? Do you enjoy exposing your private parts to complete strangers who do things to you you're not familiar with or afraid of? Well, that's what it's like for these people," she said.
Then she gave me the best advice.. "You must remember what we do is so personal, we can't take it personally!"
With that new mindset, I began to approach each patient as an individual who didn't ask to be in my care and was possibly afraid, confused and maybe even angry at having to accept a stranger's assistance, although often grateful for it.
From then on, my caregiving became more personal to me because I realized I needed to accept my clients where they were in their life. And it usually wasn't where they wanted to be.
Yes, I take my commitment to caregiving very personally. I prove it as I show up for work each day on time, with the right attitude. It's demonstrated by my not being judgmental of clients or their families. My clients feel it in the way I show them the respect and dignity they deserve while I take care of their personal needs as non-intrusively as possible. Finally, my clients know that I'm there for them whether they are mad, sad or glad and I'll always go the extra mile.
When my client prepares for the final transition, they know they've been loved enough and see that they have received the finest personal care available.
To my fellow sitters, CNAs, CMAs, and nurses, I say to you - Taking care of other's loved ones is the most personal thing you can do, so allow yourself the joy that comes from giving your personal best while not taking it personally.
Copyright © 2003 by DeMarie - All Rights Reserved.
Used with permission.
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